Wow! I don't know exactly when TEA released TAKS ratings for the past school year, but I know that I looked at them less than an hour ago... and now I'll write what I think about them, in case anyone is wondering how a teacher feels.
I am excited to report that my campus was rated "Recognized"-- so way to go 3rd and 4th graders!!! I had only a small part in this, as a first-year, 2nd Grade teacher in the 2010-2011 school year. I tutored 3rd grade students twice a week in math; and words can't describe the joy I felt when one particular student shouted to me, coming in from 3rd grade's award ceremony, that he did well on his test. :-) I'm hopeful and expectant that the students I sent on to 3rd grade this year will continue to do well and show the state how prepared and knowledgable they are on the STAAR test.
As you know, my school is a charter school; in the middle-ish of the largest district's territory in our county. The neighborhood school just down the road was rated "Academically Unacceptable", which absolutely breaks my heart. Our student populations are just the same, really. They're all young--- a variety of "at-risk" and "performing", from nuclear families and broken families, wanting to be cared for and taught. Because my school is a charter, we're probably a little less lopsided with different demographics. (Being a charter allows us to accept students from anywhere in our region-- so we have many students from our neighborhood, and a handful from each part of town/suburbs.) To admit my naivety, I have yet to wrap my mind around how such a gap between two neighboring schools is possible. Surely the teachers at both schools invest equally in their classes and work toward success with great intentionality each day. But maybe not? I guess that's really the hard part for me to understand. The population of our schools are extremely similar... and surely adults wouldn't decide to be teachers if they didn't care. I can't imagine being a teacher without the passion that is in my heart for education, students and this neighborhood. So now, I'm grappling with the question: are we somehow denying children a quality education? My building has limited space, and can not accept everyone who applies. (Not to mention, students learn less effectively and richly in classrooms with 25-30 students, which is a reason why we cap our classes below 20 students.) And I truly have no idea what all goes on any day at the other school.... I wonder what their teachers are like; how they feel, what they do, what they're passionate about....
I have no conclusion to all of this... not even to what I, personally, think about all of it. But I'm thinking that this is probably the root of why I cry when I watch the documentary, Waiting for Superman.... and why I have to take a long walk by myself afterward (every time!) to process it and my place within all of this. Ohhh pubic school....
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
Holy Moly!
Sorry to anyone who ever reads my blog! I said in April that I would update more, and totally didn't! So sorry!
The end of the school year was crazy busy. My partner teacher had a baby, so I had to learn how to be more independent. :-) Luckily, I had her for almost 9 whole months, so 2nd grade survived under my leadership! The last month and a half certainly came with its challenges, which after all was said and done, made me a much stronger and more confident teacher-- but it was by no means easy! I'm not sure that I have ever been more humbled in my life, or more desperate for guidance and assistance-- nor have I been more thankful for administrative staff and co-workers!
Now, I have 2 weeks left until Staff Development resumes, and less than 3 weeks until an entirely new group of students steps across the threshold of my room. This will already look tremendously different from last year! This summer I have been working on making my room more aesthetically pleasing, and adding more posters that are specific to what students will consistently encounter, primarily in reading. I have also added a Word Wall to my room, which I'm not entirely sure how to use yet. :-) But today and tomorrow, I have been and will continue to learn about a writing "curriculum" of sorts, called "Writing with the Traits". Today was really great; I learned A LOT and was very inspired to plan for the new year. That's about the only thing I have left to do besides to write students' names on desks and such. I am also planning to do a little different schedule-style, if you can call it that. :-) I plan to have an hour, or hour and a half, or maybe 2 hours... or 3.... set aside for centers. My classroom will be baseball themed, so this will be called, "In the Batting Cages". The goal is to have students working in pairs or independently at stations where they will practice necessary and previously-learned skills in spelling, math, reading, writing, language arts, art, listening, and maybe somehow: music. While students are working without my assistance, I plan to have a small group of 2-5 students working with me on skills needing extra attention, whether the student(s) are struggling, excelling or just learning content. So it's kind of a big plan requiring lots of time.
And my sweet, dear, lovely friend, Amanda just got here... so I'm giving her my undivided attention and will finish this later.
The end of the school year was crazy busy. My partner teacher had a baby, so I had to learn how to be more independent. :-) Luckily, I had her for almost 9 whole months, so 2nd grade survived under my leadership! The last month and a half certainly came with its challenges, which after all was said and done, made me a much stronger and more confident teacher-- but it was by no means easy! I'm not sure that I have ever been more humbled in my life, or more desperate for guidance and assistance-- nor have I been more thankful for administrative staff and co-workers!
Now, I have 2 weeks left until Staff Development resumes, and less than 3 weeks until an entirely new group of students steps across the threshold of my room. This will already look tremendously different from last year! This summer I have been working on making my room more aesthetically pleasing, and adding more posters that are specific to what students will consistently encounter, primarily in reading. I have also added a Word Wall to my room, which I'm not entirely sure how to use yet. :-) But today and tomorrow, I have been and will continue to learn about a writing "curriculum" of sorts, called "Writing with the Traits". Today was really great; I learned A LOT and was very inspired to plan for the new year. That's about the only thing I have left to do besides to write students' names on desks and such. I am also planning to do a little different schedule-style, if you can call it that. :-) I plan to have an hour, or hour and a half, or maybe 2 hours... or 3.... set aside for centers. My classroom will be baseball themed, so this will be called, "In the Batting Cages". The goal is to have students working in pairs or independently at stations where they will practice necessary and previously-learned skills in spelling, math, reading, writing, language arts, art, listening, and maybe somehow: music. While students are working without my assistance, I plan to have a small group of 2-5 students working with me on skills needing extra attention, whether the student(s) are struggling, excelling or just learning content. So it's kind of a big plan requiring lots of time.
And my sweet, dear, lovely friend, Amanda just got here... so I'm giving her my undivided attention and will finish this later.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
5 months later...
Sorry to anyone who actually reads this to keep up on my life! (Mom... ;->) The past 5 months at school have been a whirlwind. They've gone by so fast, yet so slow. They have been filled with victories and failures, joy and frustration. I have certainly learned A LOT. Such as:
1. Students do not want to take tests the day before a week-long holiday, and therefore WILL NOT do it with their best work.
2. Changes in weather really DO make a huge difference in behavior.
3. Indoor recess is NOT the same as outdoor recess.
4. Math is really abstract when it gets into multiplication, division, fractions and measurement.
5. Language Arts is more fun when students get to put all they things they've learned into a writing of some sort-- like a letter or a poem.
6. Seating charts, at least for my class, need to change every couple weeks to keep physical aggression to a minimum.
7. There's always a better way to do what you've always been doing.
8. Observing your peers has tremendous benefits.
9. The third round of Parent Conferences is a little more challenging than the first two.
10. Parents can still be mean. For no good reason many times.
Now, I'm doing a lot to change what I've been doing all year. Reading Centers are different now.... well, I don't remember if I even had them before Christmas. Students do one center a day, Monday through Thursday and take the assessment on Friday. Reading scores have improved since I've started centers. Each week, students do a listening center, where they listen to a narrator read the story we're working on, and do a follow-up vocabulary page. They do a center using their spelling words, a center writing something, and working with me. Lately, I've been researching other ways to do centers. So next year, or if I can figure it out logistically before then, I hope to have 6 or 8 centers instead of 4 so there are fewer students at each center. One challenge I have, minus wrapping my mind around the logistics, is space. My classroom is an open-concept room, and not very big. We only have 1 computer for the teacher and students, and my cd player is now broken. We only have 3 walls, one with a whiteboard, one with the door, and the other with a window.
Another challenge of my year has been the academic levels of my students. I have a group that is below average, and another group that is well above average... and no average. So, whole-class lessons are difficult, and finding time to differentiate instruction has been a challenge as well.
So, now I'm researching ways to overcome these challenges on google.... and hoping to find some professional development on these things over the summer.
And for anyone wondering out there, I have only taken 3 sick days this year. 1 for vomiting, and 2 more for a fever exceeding 102 degrees.
It's been a pretty exciting year so far. I look forward to finishing this one, and building upon what I've learned next year. And I'm hoping to blog a little more. As I'm searching for things about how to schedule centers and a whole day using more centers, I find myself wishing more people blogged about it or made websites about it. So, realizing my blog really isn't helpful for anyone, except maybe those deciding if they really want to teach, I'll still update it in hopes that maybe some day I'll be an extraordinarily brilliant teacher. Maybe someday I'll have a really good idea or insight... maybe.
But one last note, I finally saw the movie Waiting for Superman. I HIGHLY recommend it! It changed the way I view my profession as an educator in a charter school, and reminded me of the responsibility I carry. Now I'm learning how to steward the responsibility and privilege well. Wish me luck! :-)
1. Students do not want to take tests the day before a week-long holiday, and therefore WILL NOT do it with their best work.
2. Changes in weather really DO make a huge difference in behavior.
3. Indoor recess is NOT the same as outdoor recess.
4. Math is really abstract when it gets into multiplication, division, fractions and measurement.
5. Language Arts is more fun when students get to put all they things they've learned into a writing of some sort-- like a letter or a poem.
6. Seating charts, at least for my class, need to change every couple weeks to keep physical aggression to a minimum.
7. There's always a better way to do what you've always been doing.
8. Observing your peers has tremendous benefits.
9. The third round of Parent Conferences is a little more challenging than the first two.
10. Parents can still be mean. For no good reason many times.
Now, I'm doing a lot to change what I've been doing all year. Reading Centers are different now.... well, I don't remember if I even had them before Christmas. Students do one center a day, Monday through Thursday and take the assessment on Friday. Reading scores have improved since I've started centers. Each week, students do a listening center, where they listen to a narrator read the story we're working on, and do a follow-up vocabulary page. They do a center using their spelling words, a center writing something, and working with me. Lately, I've been researching other ways to do centers. So next year, or if I can figure it out logistically before then, I hope to have 6 or 8 centers instead of 4 so there are fewer students at each center. One challenge I have, minus wrapping my mind around the logistics, is space. My classroom is an open-concept room, and not very big. We only have 1 computer for the teacher and students, and my cd player is now broken. We only have 3 walls, one with a whiteboard, one with the door, and the other with a window.
Another challenge of my year has been the academic levels of my students. I have a group that is below average, and another group that is well above average... and no average. So, whole-class lessons are difficult, and finding time to differentiate instruction has been a challenge as well.
So, now I'm researching ways to overcome these challenges on google.... and hoping to find some professional development on these things over the summer.
And for anyone wondering out there, I have only taken 3 sick days this year. 1 for vomiting, and 2 more for a fever exceeding 102 degrees.
It's been a pretty exciting year so far. I look forward to finishing this one, and building upon what I've learned next year. And I'm hoping to blog a little more. As I'm searching for things about how to schedule centers and a whole day using more centers, I find myself wishing more people blogged about it or made websites about it. So, realizing my blog really isn't helpful for anyone, except maybe those deciding if they really want to teach, I'll still update it in hopes that maybe some day I'll be an extraordinarily brilliant teacher. Maybe someday I'll have a really good idea or insight... maybe.
But one last note, I finally saw the movie Waiting for Superman. I HIGHLY recommend it! It changed the way I view my profession as an educator in a charter school, and reminded me of the responsibility I carry. Now I'm learning how to steward the responsibility and privilege well. Wish me luck! :-)
Monday, November 1, 2010
November 1
Well, a quick little post before I head to bed early. I have been writing down funny things my students write for their spelling sentence homework on Thursdays, but unfortunately, that list is at school... so someday soon I will post those.
But, a few things:
1) This weekend I spent the weekend in Dripping Springs, TX for section retreat. I hate driving, and driving that far after a full week of work is just hard for me, so I asked my trusty co-leader who loves to drive and has driven my car before to drive. So, he did with great pleasure. As we rode back, I was in the backseat again with some friends and decided to pull out this little booklet thing behind the driver's seat and see what it was. It was the booklet from the 2nd Annual Science of Wondering Action Research Symposium in May. I read a few from it and was really encouraged. It reminded me of the great zeal I had for teaching just 11 months ago. I realized that what I had written for "Future Implications" was a lot more lofty than I had anticipated. But, I also realized that I could try harder to attain what I had planned to implement as a teacher this year. So, expect some changes people!
2) That's one thing I love about teaching: the opportunities every day to reevaluate and change what's happening in my career. Getting in a rut is really a choice I think.
3) Some things I was thinking about today: If parents only knew what their children really saw and understand and tell their teachers! It breaks my heart a little bit. A student talked to me today about seeing his/her father drunk this past weekend, how he yelled at his/her mother over the phone and how father flirted with someone. Not once in my childhood did I hear my dad yell at my mom, nor have I ever seen either of my parents drunk (even to this point in my life!), nor did I even KNOW the word "flirt" when I was in 2nd grade... I probably didn't know "drunk" either. If there's anything I can say that a parent would hear and maybe even heed: Your little "babies" are not babies anymore--- they hear what you say, they see what you do and they feel the implications of all of it. "Live your lives not as unwise, but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, for the days are evil. Therefore, do not be foolish, but know what the Lord's will is."- Ephesians 5:15-17 Now, also, let me say that I do not expect all parents to live by these words. After all, the Lost will do Lost things-- I do not, and cannot, expect Lost parents to do Christian things.
That's all for tonight--- I hope nobody is offended. :-)
But, a few things:
1) This weekend I spent the weekend in Dripping Springs, TX for section retreat. I hate driving, and driving that far after a full week of work is just hard for me, so I asked my trusty co-leader who loves to drive and has driven my car before to drive. So, he did with great pleasure. As we rode back, I was in the backseat again with some friends and decided to pull out this little booklet thing behind the driver's seat and see what it was. It was the booklet from the 2nd Annual Science of Wondering Action Research Symposium in May. I read a few from it and was really encouraged. It reminded me of the great zeal I had for teaching just 11 months ago. I realized that what I had written for "Future Implications" was a lot more lofty than I had anticipated. But, I also realized that I could try harder to attain what I had planned to implement as a teacher this year. So, expect some changes people!
2) That's one thing I love about teaching: the opportunities every day to reevaluate and change what's happening in my career. Getting in a rut is really a choice I think.
3) Some things I was thinking about today: If parents only knew what their children really saw and understand and tell their teachers! It breaks my heart a little bit. A student talked to me today about seeing his/her father drunk this past weekend, how he yelled at his/her mother over the phone and how father flirted with someone. Not once in my childhood did I hear my dad yell at my mom, nor have I ever seen either of my parents drunk (even to this point in my life!), nor did I even KNOW the word "flirt" when I was in 2nd grade... I probably didn't know "drunk" either. If there's anything I can say that a parent would hear and maybe even heed: Your little "babies" are not babies anymore--- they hear what you say, they see what you do and they feel the implications of all of it. "Live your lives not as unwise, but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, for the days are evil. Therefore, do not be foolish, but know what the Lord's will is."- Ephesians 5:15-17 Now, also, let me say that I do not expect all parents to live by these words. After all, the Lost will do Lost things-- I do not, and cannot, expect Lost parents to do Christian things.
That's all for tonight--- I hope nobody is offended. :-)
Monday, October 25, 2010
An update? Sure, why not.
Well, it's been quite some time since I last updated... so here are some fun things.
1) I FINISHED THE FIRST 9 WEEKS!!!! WOOO HOOO! Most of my kids did well, and parent conferences were so good! I actually really enjoyed getting to know parents better and getting to talk with them without their student around. One thing I love about RAPS is that this was NOT the first time I had met any of the parents because of other things we have offered and required.
2) My kids are still hilarious and still a challenge. We are learning how to control our arms and legs.... one day we had a conversation about sportsmanship after one student pulled another down by their shirt collar.... immediately I was reminded of one of my favorite commercials of all time where Peyton, Cooper and Eli Manning are playing football in the backyard as young boys and Peyton gets drug down by his shirt collar. He shouts, "You can't grab by the neck! That's not fair!" So, we talked about why men in the NFL don't pull each other down by their collars. We've also learned that it's never ok to punch a classmate... or be sarcastic or sassy... or just downright disrespectful.
Obviously, those are the challenging things. All of my kids have their sweet, hilarious moments. For example, one sweet, innocent child was tardy to school one morning. He'd never been tardy before-- he walked into my room and handed me his tardy slip...... and with a sad, hurt look on his face, he said, "Miss Koontz, why'd they call me tardy?"... I'm pretty sure he thought "tardy" was slang for "retarded" lol. It was pretty cute.
3) I've found some great mentorship/friendship in the mom of 2 of my friends, Jamin and Kristen Daly. I lead lifegroup with Kristen my Junior and Senior year of college, and led lifegroup with Jamin the second semester of my Senior year and all of this year so far. Their mom, Kathy, was a 3rd grade teacher for many years in New Mexico and I heard legendary stories about her for years. I've had the privilege of meeting her many times in college, but since she's retired and I've become a teacher, she's been so kind to offer me her wisdom via facebook and visits to Waco to see Jamin. I am really so, so thankful for her! And another tidbit about Kathy-- she was here visiting Jamin for Parents Weekend at Baylor-- which was conveniently the weekend my dad announced he was divorcing my mom. Church that Sunday was so hard to not cry through, and I sat next to Kathy. I cried a lot, and she put her arm around me and I felt so comforted. :-) It's the little things, ya know. ;-)
4) I still hate grading homework--- I don't know why... it's just so tedious. It's funny though, 2 of my friends have offered, excitedly, to do it for me. Watch out Laura and Jeff--- someday I might take you up on it!
5) Reading is the content area that I could use more assistance in. On average, on each reading test, about 35% of my kids fail... at least 15% of those would pass if they would follow instructions and write complete sentences. The others are really struggling with vocabulary, comprehension and writing complete sentences. Luckily, we have 2 awesome reading specialists who help out some of these wonderful kiddos. And if anyone from Baylor is reading this, please don't be offended. I do not feel ill-equipped to teach them-- somehow many of these punkins are passing for the quarter... and if I factor in the other 2nd grade class, we probably have 35-40% of our grade struggling on the tests... and some grades above ours have ditched the tests from the curriculum and made their own because the tests are just so obscure. This is the first year for this curriculum, so nobody really has a huge bag of tricks in this department. But my bag of tricks is definitely the least full at this point.
That's all I really have energy for-- so I hope whoever reads this enjoys this little insight into the life of a first year teacher.
1) I FINISHED THE FIRST 9 WEEKS!!!! WOOO HOOO! Most of my kids did well, and parent conferences were so good! I actually really enjoyed getting to know parents better and getting to talk with them without their student around. One thing I love about RAPS is that this was NOT the first time I had met any of the parents because of other things we have offered and required.
2) My kids are still hilarious and still a challenge. We are learning how to control our arms and legs.... one day we had a conversation about sportsmanship after one student pulled another down by their shirt collar.... immediately I was reminded of one of my favorite commercials of all time where Peyton, Cooper and Eli Manning are playing football in the backyard as young boys and Peyton gets drug down by his shirt collar. He shouts, "You can't grab by the neck! That's not fair!" So, we talked about why men in the NFL don't pull each other down by their collars. We've also learned that it's never ok to punch a classmate... or be sarcastic or sassy... or just downright disrespectful.
Obviously, those are the challenging things. All of my kids have their sweet, hilarious moments. For example, one sweet, innocent child was tardy to school one morning. He'd never been tardy before-- he walked into my room and handed me his tardy slip...... and with a sad, hurt look on his face, he said, "Miss Koontz, why'd they call me tardy?"... I'm pretty sure he thought "tardy" was slang for "retarded" lol. It was pretty cute.
3) I've found some great mentorship/friendship in the mom of 2 of my friends, Jamin and Kristen Daly. I lead lifegroup with Kristen my Junior and Senior year of college, and led lifegroup with Jamin the second semester of my Senior year and all of this year so far. Their mom, Kathy, was a 3rd grade teacher for many years in New Mexico and I heard legendary stories about her for years. I've had the privilege of meeting her many times in college, but since she's retired and I've become a teacher, she's been so kind to offer me her wisdom via facebook and visits to Waco to see Jamin. I am really so, so thankful for her! And another tidbit about Kathy-- she was here visiting Jamin for Parents Weekend at Baylor-- which was conveniently the weekend my dad announced he was divorcing my mom. Church that Sunday was so hard to not cry through, and I sat next to Kathy. I cried a lot, and she put her arm around me and I felt so comforted. :-) It's the little things, ya know. ;-)
4) I still hate grading homework--- I don't know why... it's just so tedious. It's funny though, 2 of my friends have offered, excitedly, to do it for me. Watch out Laura and Jeff--- someday I might take you up on it!
5) Reading is the content area that I could use more assistance in. On average, on each reading test, about 35% of my kids fail... at least 15% of those would pass if they would follow instructions and write complete sentences. The others are really struggling with vocabulary, comprehension and writing complete sentences. Luckily, we have 2 awesome reading specialists who help out some of these wonderful kiddos. And if anyone from Baylor is reading this, please don't be offended. I do not feel ill-equipped to teach them-- somehow many of these punkins are passing for the quarter... and if I factor in the other 2nd grade class, we probably have 35-40% of our grade struggling on the tests... and some grades above ours have ditched the tests from the curriculum and made their own because the tests are just so obscure. This is the first year for this curriculum, so nobody really has a huge bag of tricks in this department. But my bag of tricks is definitely the least full at this point.
That's all I really have energy for-- so I hope whoever reads this enjoys this little insight into the life of a first year teacher.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Ohh the ups and downs of teaching
It's amazing how horrible one week can be and how awesome the next week can be! One of my little punkins that wasn't so great last week has had an INCREDIBLE week this week! She usually "signs the book" 20-30 times a week, so far this week? ONCE! :-) We have a deal that I'll buy her a Junie B. Jones book if she has a spectacular week-- which I said after her awesome day on Monday. :-) Looks like I'll be at Barnes and Noble this weekend! PRAISE THE LORD! I'm so proud of all my students and realizing this week how much I really do love them, even when things are hard. I feel like I may have found my "teacher voice" with them finally, after 3 years of practice! (Thanks, Baylor, for shortening the process for my professional career.) Things are just really great overall. God is so good, so faithful. Things are really hard too, now that I think about it, but God is so good that my heart is able to have joy through it all. Even though I cry a lot--- and definitely every sermon since my dad announced the divorce. But the good news is: He's GOOD!!!!!!!! He's good! He's good! GOD IS GOOD!
On that note, this week, I'm teaching about India, and focusing on Hinduism and Buddhism, which I do my best to teach unbiasedly. Today, I was reviewing the names of the Holy and Sacred Books for Hindus, and one of my students said, "The Bible". I clarified that Hindus do not believe in the Bible, which was met with about 12 or 13 gasps. A few students said to those around them, "What? I don't believe in it either..." Which was again, met by many gasps from their peers. Soooo I'm hoping that maybe a little evangelical fire will be lit among my little world changers and that I'll see some salvations come through these little ones!
On that note, this week, I'm teaching about India, and focusing on Hinduism and Buddhism, which I do my best to teach unbiasedly. Today, I was reviewing the names of the Holy and Sacred Books for Hindus, and one of my students said, "The Bible". I clarified that Hindus do not believe in the Bible, which was met with about 12 or 13 gasps. A few students said to those around them, "What? I don't believe in it either..." Which was again, met by many gasps from their peers. Soooo I'm hoping that maybe a little evangelical fire will be lit among my little world changers and that I'll see some salvations come through these little ones!
Jeremiah 30:
18 "This is what the LORD says:
" 'I will restore the fortunes of Jacob's tents
and have compassion on his dwellings;
the city will be rebuilt on her ruins,
and the palace will stand in its proper place.
" 'I will restore the fortunes of Jacob's tents
and have compassion on his dwellings;
the city will be rebuilt on her ruins,
and the palace will stand in its proper place.
19 From them will come songs of thanksgiving
and the sound of rejoicing.
I will add to their numbers,
and they will not be decreased;
I will bring them honor,
and they will not be disdained.
and the sound of rejoicing.
I will add to their numbers,
and they will not be decreased;
I will bring them honor,
and they will not be disdained.
20 Their children will be as in days of old,
and their community will be established before me;
I will punish all who oppress them.
and their community will be established before me;
I will punish all who oppress them.
21 Their leader will be one of their own;
their ruler will arise from among them.
I will bring him near and he will come close to me,
for who is he who will devote himself
to be close to me?'
declares the LORD.
their ruler will arise from among them.
I will bring him near and he will come close to me,
for who is he who will devote himself
to be close to me?'
declares the LORD.
22 " 'So you will be my people,
and I will be your God.' "
and I will be your God.' "
Yep, I'll take it.... this is my prayer for this season of my life.
Oh yeah, and TOMS shoes tweeted a picture of my desk!!! Woo hooo!
TOMSshoes
Maybe teachers don't want apples anymore... This 2nd grade teacher reps TOMS in her classroom!http://twitpic.com/2qxtd6
Oh yeah, and TOMS shoes tweeted a picture of my desk!!! Woo hooo!
TOMSshoes
Maybe teachers don't want apples anymore... This 2nd grade teacher reps TOMS in her classroom!http://twitpic.com/2qxtd6
Friday, September 17, 2010
I cry a lot.
Well, if you know me at all, you probably know that I cry a lot. About almost everything. Tears are my default when I'm sad, angry, frustrated, excited, laughing, "touched", etc. So to you who know this about me, it probably comes as no shock that I cried in my Master Teacher's office. (She is basically the Principal, just a different title and slightly different job description.) There are kind of some hard things going on in my personal life, which make things hard at the most inconvenient times, and having 16 sets of parents to deal with just adds to the problem. Don't get me wrong, I love my job most days; but most days this week, I felt utterly defeated and hopeless, to be quite frank. So here's what I have learned:
1. I NEED JESUS to speak identity and purpose over every single day of my life.
2. Teaching is [possibly the only] one profession where it is encouraged to cry in your boss's office.
3. Parents HATE new, first-year teachers.... or maybe just teachers in general... I'll get back to you on that in a few years.... assuming I don't botch this one.
4. I'm still learning how to be a grown-up, let alone a grown-up who is responsible for 16 little ones.
5. I have yet to "find" my "teacher voice".
6. Being small in stature really does make a difference in the respect people give you automatically--- and laws of society and government and the ghetto leave disrespected, condemned, small people up a creek without a paddle.
7. There is a logical reason most teachers are married... of course, I can't be 100% sure that being married would make dealing with all of these emotions and hostility from parents any easier... but part of me thinks having someone who always believed in me and told me every now and then and hugged me when I cried and listened to my frustrations would help.
8. Not being married, never teaching as "teacher-of-record" before, paying my bills by myself only a few weeks ago for the FIRST time has left me pretty immature--- which to parents and others, really doesn't matter.
9. My students really do learn better all facing one direction in rows of 2 or 3 desks.
10. The tighter I get on my rules and procedures, the more respect my students have for them--- and the more fun we can have later.
Now, do I mean any of this to be a pity-party, or a woe-is-me speech? Absolutely not. I'm just writing down the realities of how I feel as a first year teacher. Sometimes I get discouraged and feel like I'm ruining 16 lives and careers along the way. But then, at the end of the day, the students go home.... I grade papers, record grades, prepare activities, reevaluate my own teaching, make necessary changes, and analyze how I can improve and make little baby steps of change every day. And each morning, the students all return, with their homework in hand, completed and done well, ready to learn again.... and then I realize, all the struggles of each day are worth it. Whether anyone else can see it or not, I see it.
A few goals for this next week:
1. Be more assertive and authoritative--- not dictatorial, but respect-worthy.... in some cultures, respect is not an inalienable right. :-)
2. Find MY "teacher voice".
3. Teach each day differently than any other day, because each day IS different and deserves to be treated as such.
4. Ask more questions and ask for help... otherwise, lay down my pride/ lift my self-esteem/lower self-condemnation.
I guess 4 goals is enough for 5 days. :-)
Pray. for. me. please.
Well, I suppose that's all I have in my heart to pour out publicly today.
1. I NEED JESUS to speak identity and purpose over every single day of my life.
2. Teaching is [possibly the only] one profession where it is encouraged to cry in your boss's office.
3. Parents HATE new, first-year teachers.... or maybe just teachers in general... I'll get back to you on that in a few years.... assuming I don't botch this one.
4. I'm still learning how to be a grown-up, let alone a grown-up who is responsible for 16 little ones.
5. I have yet to "find" my "teacher voice".
6. Being small in stature really does make a difference in the respect people give you automatically--- and laws of society and government and the ghetto leave disrespected, condemned, small people up a creek without a paddle.
7. There is a logical reason most teachers are married... of course, I can't be 100% sure that being married would make dealing with all of these emotions and hostility from parents any easier... but part of me thinks having someone who always believed in me and told me every now and then and hugged me when I cried and listened to my frustrations would help.
8. Not being married, never teaching as "teacher-of-record" before, paying my bills by myself only a few weeks ago for the FIRST time has left me pretty immature--- which to parents and others, really doesn't matter.
9. My students really do learn better all facing one direction in rows of 2 or 3 desks.
10. The tighter I get on my rules and procedures, the more respect my students have for them--- and the more fun we can have later.
Now, do I mean any of this to be a pity-party, or a woe-is-me speech? Absolutely not. I'm just writing down the realities of how I feel as a first year teacher. Sometimes I get discouraged and feel like I'm ruining 16 lives and careers along the way. But then, at the end of the day, the students go home.... I grade papers, record grades, prepare activities, reevaluate my own teaching, make necessary changes, and analyze how I can improve and make little baby steps of change every day. And each morning, the students all return, with their homework in hand, completed and done well, ready to learn again.... and then I realize, all the struggles of each day are worth it. Whether anyone else can see it or not, I see it.
A few goals for this next week:
1. Be more assertive and authoritative--- not dictatorial, but respect-worthy.... in some cultures, respect is not an inalienable right. :-)
2. Find MY "teacher voice".
3. Teach each day differently than any other day, because each day IS different and deserves to be treated as such.
4. Ask more questions and ask for help... otherwise, lay down my pride/ lift my self-esteem/lower self-condemnation.
I guess 4 goals is enough for 5 days. :-)
Pray. for. me. please.
Well, I suppose that's all I have in my heart to pour out publicly today.
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