Ohh the ups and downs of teaching

It's amazing how horrible one week can be and how awesome the next week can be!  One of my little punkins that wasn't so great last week has had an INCREDIBLE week this week!  She usually "signs the book" 20-30 times a week, so far this week? ONCE! :-)  We have a deal that I'll buy her a Junie B. Jones book if she has a spectacular week-- which I said after her awesome day on Monday. :-)  Looks like I'll be at Barnes and Noble this weekend!  PRAISE THE LORD!  I'm so proud of all my students and realizing this week how much I really do love them, even when things are hard. I feel like I may have found my "teacher voice" with them finally, after 3 years of practice! (Thanks, Baylor, for shortening the process for my professional career.)  Things are just really great overall.  God is so good, so faithful.  Things are really hard too, now that I think about it, but God is so good that my heart is able to have joy through it all.  Even though I cry a lot--- and definitely every sermon since my dad announced the divorce.  But the good news is: He's GOOD!!!!!!!! He's good! He's good! GOD IS GOOD!


On that note, this week, I'm teaching about India, and focusing on Hinduism and Buddhism, which I do my best to teach unbiasedly.  Today, I was reviewing the names of the Holy and Sacred Books for Hindus, and one of my students said, "The Bible".  I clarified that Hindus do not believe in the Bible, which was met with about 12 or 13 gasps.  A few students said to those around them, "What?  I don't believe in it either..."  Which was again, met by many gasps from their peers.  Soooo I'm hoping that maybe a little evangelical fire will be lit among my little world changers and that I'll see some salvations come through these little ones!

^{Jeremiah 30:}

¹⁸ "This is what the LORD says:
       " 'I will restore the fortunes of Jacob's tents
       and have compassion on his dwellings;
       the city will be rebuilt on her ruins,
       and the palace will stand in its proper place.

 ¹⁹ From them will come songs of thanksgiving
       and the sound of rejoicing.
       I will add to their numbers,
       and they will not be decreased;
       I will bring them honor,
       and they will not be disdained.

 ²⁰ Their children will be as in days of old,
       and their community will be established before me;
       I will punish all who oppress them.

 ²¹ Their leader will be one of their own;
       their ruler will arise from among them.
       I will bring him near and he will come close to me,
       for who is he who will devote himself
       to be close to me?'
       declares the LORD.

 ²² " 'So you will be my people,
       and I will be your God.' "

 Yep, I'll take it.... this is my prayer for this season of my life.


Oh yeah, and TOMS shoes tweeted a picture of my desk!!! Woo hooo! 


TOMSshoes 

  

Maybe teachers don't want apples anymore... This 2nd grade teacher reps TOMS in her classroom!http://twitpic.com/2qxtd6

I cry a lot.

Well, if you know me at all,  you probably know that I cry a lot.  About almost everything.  Tears are my default when I'm sad, angry, frustrated, excited, laughing, "touched", etc.  So to you who know this about me, it probably comes as no shock that I cried in my Master Teacher's office. (She is basically the Principal, just a different title and slightly different job description.)  There are kind of some hard things going on in my personal life, which make things hard at the most inconvenient times, and having 16 sets of parents to deal with just adds to the problem. Don't get me wrong, I love my job most days; but most days this week, I felt utterly defeated and hopeless, to be quite frank. So here's what I have learned:
     1.  I NEED JESUS to speak identity and purpose over every single day of my life.
     2.  Teaching is [possibly the only] one profession where it is encouraged to cry in your boss's office.
     3.  Parents HATE new, first-year teachers.... or maybe just teachers in general... I'll get back to you on that in a few years.... assuming I don't botch this one.
    4.  I'm still learning how to be a grown-up, let alone a grown-up who is responsible for 16 little ones.
    5.  I have yet to "find" my "teacher voice".
    6.  Being small in stature really does make a difference in the respect people give you automatically--- and laws of society and government and the ghetto leave disrespected, condemned, small people up a creek without a paddle.
    7.  There is a logical reason most teachers are married... of course, I can't be 100% sure that being married would make dealing with all of these emotions and hostility from parents any easier... but part of me thinks having someone who always believed in me and told me every now and then and hugged me when I cried and listened to my frustrations would help.
    8.  Not being married, never teaching as "teacher-of-record" before, paying my bills by myself only a few weeks ago for the FIRST time has left me pretty immature--- which to parents and others, really doesn't matter.
    9.  My students really do learn better all facing one direction in rows of 2 or 3 desks.
    10.  The tighter I get on my rules and procedures, the more respect my students have for them--- and the more fun we can have later.

Now, do I mean any of this to be a pity-party, or a woe-is-me speech? Absolutely not. I'm just writing down the realities of how I feel as a first year teacher.  Sometimes I get discouraged and feel like I'm ruining 16 lives and careers along the way. But then, at the end of the day, the students go home.... I grade papers, record grades, prepare activities, reevaluate my own teaching, make necessary changes, and analyze how I can improve and make little baby steps of change every day.  And each morning, the students all return, with their homework in hand, completed and done well, ready to learn again.... and then I realize, all the struggles of each day are worth it.  Whether anyone else can see it or not, I see it.

A few goals for this next week:
   1. Be more assertive and authoritative--- not dictatorial, but respect-worthy.... in some cultures, respect is not an inalienable right. :-)
   2.  Find MY "teacher voice".
   3. Teach each day differently than any other day, because each day IS different and deserves to be treated as such.
   4.  Ask more questions and ask for help... otherwise, lay down my pride/ lift my self-esteem/lower self-condemnation.


I guess 4 goals is enough for 5 days. :-)

Pray. for. me. please.




Well, I suppose that's all I have in my heart to pour out publicly today.  

I hate being a grown up.

Well, I've learned many things this week about being a Grown Up.
1. Getting your first paycheck is exciting AND terrifying.
2. Going out to dinner for the first time after you get your first paycheck is also terrifying. Can I afford a $5.36 dinner?!?!  Yeah. But still.  (Sam's on the Square on 4th and Austin-- SO GOOD and cheap!)
3. Regardless of where you live, the whole world works on Eastern Standard Time. For example, when you can't remember your credit card password and get locked out online and have to call, they're not really that helpful... because it's 5:15 in New York City, and the person you're speaking to in Bangalore... well... it's probably 8 or 9 pm there.
4. Your body gets more tired after you hit 22 1/2. ;-)  Kind of a joke, but really.
5. Credit cards really may be a waste... what's the point anyway when you have the money in a checking account at the moment you're using the credit card?
6. Even if you're not married or even close to becoming married, your parents will STILL turn your bedroom into a guest bedroom-- even if that makes 2 guest bedrooms in the house.  (I'm not super offended, just caught off guard a bit.)
7. It's even more important now than in college to make special time for friends.
    a) I don't see them on campus, because I don't GO to campus anymore
    b) and my days are so draining sometimes that I just need a good laugh or a good friend!
8. College roommates really are great to have around after college. :-)

That's all for now.  I hope someone  is reading this and at least getting a good giggle or something.

Latest funny stories

Well, it's almost 10 pm, and I'm actually HOME! PRAISE THE LORD! I LOVE WEDNESDAYS!  By popular demand (Molly...) I'm posting briefly before I take a shower, blow dry my hair and go to bed.  See, I have to straighten my hair tomorrow because it's Meet the Teacher Night!  Yep, 3 weeks into school-- so it's kind of a Meet the Teacher and Established Classroom with Samples of Student Work Night. :-)  Can't wait though!!!

Two funny stories for now:
1) Student 1: "Miss Koontz, I need to go take my medicine."
Me: "*little giggle* You don't take medicine...."
Student 2: "I take medicine!!!"
Me: "Yes, you do."
Student 2: "Yeah, I'm HD!... A?........... H?"
Me: "You mean ADHD?"
Student 2: "YEAH!  THAT! I'M ADHD!!!"
Me: "*giggle* Yes, yes you are."

2)  The past 2 weeks we have been studying world geography in Social Studies.  We were talking about the continents this day.  Students began to wonder about how the continents got to be where they are and what they are.  This is one sweet little answer:
"No!  He ['he' is never specified, just go with it-- my guess is that the student was talking about God] made the continents a couple seconds off. See, first he said, 'Let there be Europe!'  Then he said, 'Let there be Asia!'"  Me: "Do you mean, 'Let there be light?'" Student: "No... [seemingly un-phased  by the question] Then he said 'Let there be Africa' and he just kept going and that's why the continents are a couple seconds off each other."

:-)  Sorry for the brevity, but I hope you enjoyed just a little glimpse into my daily life.